Tell me summat. If A-level results 'ave got better 58 years in a row, that means folk in this country are brighter now than ever, right? So 'ow come Rush Hour 3's number one at box office? God 'elp us.
The Bourne Ultimatum
Lucky fer us dimwits that there's still somebody art there what can mek an action film what (a) meks sense, (b) keeps y'interested an' (c) don't mek y'deaf. This is one of abart three films put out this year what's worth shellin' out good brass fer. It's third one o' them thrillers what 'as Matt Damian as that spy what can't remember owt. Blessin' in a disguise if y'ask me. An' even though 'e'd be a right asset, CIA wants ter kill 'im. Bloody Yanks, eh?
Rush Hour 3
Who the bloody 'ell is this Chris Tucker idiot, any road? E's not even Chris flamin' Rock, lerralone Eddie Murphy. As fer that Jackie Chang - 'e must be nearly as old as me. An' why folk are still listenin' to 'em screechin' their way through a third pile o' cops'n'robbers tripe is beyond me. Buddy movies they call 'em. Aye - buddy awful.
Copying Beethoven
Copyin' bloody Amadeus, more like. This is like one o' them Sunday night period dramas BBC put on t'get everybody ter bed early. Ed Morris does a top Bob Geldof impression in it. Pity 'e's supposed t'be Beethoven. Tale goes that 'e were inspired t'finish a masterpiece by some pretty lass called Anna who understands 'is scribble and gives 'im sponge baths. Trouble is, lass what plays Anna is to actin' what Beethoven was to 'earing.
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