I'll be honest wiya. Reason I've bin slackin on film reviews is I've bin workin on another idea. Y'know that Facebook thing? Ad a gander and frankly I'm not impressed.
It's all reet fer t'young uns but some of us are more worried abart stuff like ow long we've got left. So wi this in mind, I've come up wi' a network fer folk me own age: Coffin Up.
It lets folk like me keep tabs on ooz dead an' ooz gonna be joinin 'em soon an' ow much they left t'their ingrate kids. There's plenny o' fun stuff too like what y' want to go on yer epitaph, most original places folk's ad their ashes scattered, an' the funniest one-liners you've 'eard in a eulogy.
It's also a top place to exchange tips on fashion (funeral suits: are elbow patches acceptable?), food and drink (how to do a wake on £50), music (why Candle in the Wind should be blown out) and keep fit for pallbearers.
Any road, I'm 'ere to talk films but cos I've wrote nowt for weeks I thought I'd catch up by nickin an idea from a website I right like: Four-Word Film Review. Cos life's short, tha noz.
Atonement - Poor sod stitched up.
Run Fat Boy Run - Marathon comedy? Miles short.
Rise of the Footsoldier - Glorified thuggery for morons.
1408 - The Shining writ small.
No Reservations - Romcom serving undercooked tripe.
Death Sentence - Kevin Bacon murders career.
Breach - Traitor gets what's coming.
2 Days In Paris - Woody Allen but prettier.
Alf Huckam
Comments