Cinephilia

Guy Richtoy's TW*T!

Guy Richtoy has made some of the best films of the last hundred years.

Following the critical success of his directorial debut "Lock Stock & Two Barrels of Smoking Monkeys", he met and married the international singing star Madogga but returned to his roots as a cockney villain for his second film "Twat":

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Why 'The Blade' Loves The Internet

Occassionaly you come across some footage that makes you laugh, cry, sweat and salivate all at once. For those of you wondering... no... it isn't porn... it's better!

Check out these three examples of Turkish rip-offs of Hollywood blockbusters. First up is ET. Notice that it is now a horror:

I'm sure one of the kids said something about his penis in that one but don't be put off, the next is a classic. This time it's Star Wars, only not as you know it. Note the use of Indiana Jones Music and Jedi Karate skills for our hero - basically Luke Skywalker with knuckledusters in place of his trusty lightsabre. It's pretty repetetive but worth it three minutes in when he starts to rip the heads off of the pubic monsters and toilet paper trolls. Also a good tuturiol for how to successfully split an evil magician in two with your bare hands. Educational as well as bizzare, then. Has to be seen to be believed:

OK, take a breath and recover your senses because now it's the turn of 'SUPERMEN DONUYOR'. The costume is actually pretty good but Supes lives in a world where every gangster possesses a massive 'tash and shiny handgun but no charisma. There's zero emotion, the dubbing is awful and the effects some of the worst you'll ever see but the lead actor is AMAZING. Seriously, some of his facial expressions just astound me:

Space In Vader

If you thought Darth Vader was just the misunderstood ruler of a Hyper-Galactic Evil Empire, here's something to challenge your perceptions...

Some bright spark has edited together Vader's scenes from Star Wars using James Earl Jones' voice from alternative film roles.

Worth it if only to hear the Sith Lord berate Leia for having cleared out of Detroit with Willie the Pimp!

"Is this in the game, Wayne?"

Occasionaly you're sent something really good at 5pm on a work day and you don't mind sticking it up on the blog before you leave for home even if you know it means missing the 17:24 from Brentford.

In this instance that "something really good" is a clip of the nation's most talented footballer showing off a variety of other (rather impressive) skills during a motion capture session for EA Sports.

hahahahaha. Brilliant

Martin Scorsese's Sesame Streets

It's been a long time since we posted one of those movie trailers re-cut in an attempt to sell something completely differrent than originaly intended.

I guess the demand for Movies Remixed kind of diminished after the four score and seven Brokeback spoofs went around (my favourite still has to be the He-Man and Man-at-Arms love story "Brokeback Snake Mountain").

Needless to say this one definitely fills the hole left by the two gay cowboys eating chocolate pudding. It's the best re-cut trailer in ages - worth it if only for Bert's reaction to Ernie's accusation...

Pity the Foo?

In 1987 a hit television series was cancelled. Almost 20 years later, Mr. T, recruiting a crack team of other B-list celebrities, had decided to rebuild the team. If you have a problem maybe you can hire the B-team...

Fun with Treadmills

At last someone has come up with a way in which to utilise a treadmill involving neither boredom nor sweat.

OK so it's a few weeks old now but I keep coming up against people that have no clue as to what I'm banging on about.

If you haven't seen this already, you NEED to (and badly).

Dom Bloch

Huh? Britney Spears On Drugs?

I sure hope so.

Because if she wasn't, this video proves without a doubt that she's not fit to be classed as bright enough to dress herself.

"Have you ever seen Back To The Future? Is that possible- you know, to time travel? Yes it is Kevin..."

Hmmm... and what's with all the twitching too Brit...?

Click here to watch and weep...

Darwin 1, Pikeys 0

A bunch of pikey kids from Crawley, a small but powerful moped, a playground roundabout and a camcorder. What could possibly go wrong?

Watch this for a prime example of how the human race is going to hell in a handcart. It's a bit slow to start, but stick with it...

Mike Taylor

I Innocent of Accusings of Kazakhstan Government!!!

JAG-SHE-MASH uh-ma-nema Borat,

I'm like to doing polits-tical reportings from numba wan contree in sa werld... uh-Kazakhstan, where I am six most importent and fam-us men!

Ma hobbish including uh-ping-pong, a-disco-dansh and sunbathe - i show you!

Please you can make click for to seeing trailer of ma new movie NOW!!! Then you wilsee much moron me!

CHEN-QUI

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Have you ever seen something so politically incorrect that you had to laugh out loud?

If you haven't already heard of Borat... here's his official site.

Dom Bloch


And below is the actual film invite that was sent out to journalists and important types in Cannes: